Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Bits 'n' Pieces

Cougars & Cubs ...

Wow! Sometimes I just feel so “out of it!” I’m familiar with the term “cougar” - you know, the older woman going after younger guys. In fact, I’ve known a few of these gals along the way. I guess my true feeling about that is “More power to them!”

I learned a new word to go with that one tonight, though. I never realized the young guys these women preyed upon were referred to as “cubs.” Cute. But then, talk about a weird image surfacing in my mind! When I hear this, I kind of imagine a grown man wearing a Cub Scout uniform with an attractive woman looking like she borrowed clothing from Mama (as in Mama’s House). I guess I’ve watched way too much Saturday Night Live!!

Anyways, I learned this term when I saw an article about Carnival Cruise Lines turning away travel agencies wanting to book Cougar & Cubs themed cruises. Apparently, there was one aboard a Carnival ship last year and there were no problems or obviously questionable activities taking place but Carnival feels such a theme deters from their “family image.”

Well, I’ve been on ten Carnival cruises over the years and I’ve got to say, I’d be less concerned about the Cougars and their Cubs (Unless, of course, they are dressed as naughty Cub Scouts!) than the elderly and/or paunchy men parading around the deck in nothing but a skimpy Speedo with all their family jewels clearly visible! Believe me, there are a LOT of those guys on most of the cruises!

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Most of us have heard about Joan Rivers’ being pulled from her flight home from Costa Rico last week due to “security concerns.” (Sure, Joan Rivers can be scary, but a National Security risk?!?) Apparently this was triggered by her possession of an “AKA Passport.” These are passports held by folks who have legally changed their names from their birth names or who use a professional name different from their legal name. They are not highly unusual and should not pose a problem for most travelers. (Whoopi Goldberg, aka Karen Johnson, also has such a passport.)

Joan has now been making the talk show rounds doing her best to taint the reputation of that particular airline and to shine yet another light on the flaws in airline security. She’s questioning how they determine who to detain when that name is NOT on the No Fly List . Just who is making decisions to hold back elderly women in wheel chairs, nursing mothers, etc.

She stressed that they deterred her, a 76-year-old woman, giving away her seat on the flight before even beginning to attempt to clarify the situation and then giving her $60 to find a hotel and other necessities to sustain her until the next available flight. Like so many celebrities, she was flying without much pocket cash.

She did use a great line about the experience. She asked how many terrorists call ahead to identify themselves and request a kosher meal !

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Remember when women worried about their significant others stopping off at a bar or “Gentlemen’s Club” on their way home? Maybe we should all start worrying about them stopping to get an espresso on their way to work instead! Be especially worried if the stand has a name like Dream Girls Espresso. In Yakima, Washington, a huge controversy has been brewing [pun intended] over so-called sexpresso stands and latte joints where the baristas wear lingerie and bikinis as “uniforms.”

City officials attempted to have such businesses classified as adult entertainment but settled for changing the indecent exposure laws, holding owners and managers responsible for the attire worn by employees. Male customers have been “ticketed” for pleasuring themselves on and near the premises.

Last week, city prosecutors charged a barista and her boss with indecent exposure when the barista was working the stand wearing a g-string which revealed her bare buttocks. A neighboring city dealing with the same kind of issues, has also been charging the baristas with prostitution.

Ladies, please don’t allow your man to “Stop off for coffee!” Keep your Mister Coffee perking and your man at home!

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