Warn your friends, everyone!!!!

In honor of my birthday this weekend, a friend sent me this warning and urged me to let all my acquaintances in on this terrible crime wave, too. So, I'm sharing this bulletin with all of you so, you too, can be on guard against such terrible attacks!!

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You've heard about people who have been abducted and had their kidneys removed by black-market organ thieves. Well, this kind of cruel theft is happening with other body parts as well !

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago. I went to sleep and woke up with someone else's thighs. It was just that quick. The replacements had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine? I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resolved myself to living out my life in jeans. And then the thieves struck again.

My butt was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end to the thighs they had stuck me with earlier. But my new butt was attached at least three inches lower than my original ! I realized I'd have to give up my jeans in favor of long skirts.

Two years ago, I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was fixing my hair and was horrified to see the flesh of my upper arms flop to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush ! This was really getting scary - my body was being replaced one section at a time. What could they do to me next?

When my poor neck suddenly disappeared and was replaced with a turkey neck, I decided to tell my story. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee ! Those "plastic" surgeons are using REAL replacement body parts - stolen from you and me !!! The next time someone you know has something "lifted," look again - was it lifted from you ?

THIS IS NOT A HOAX. This is happening to women everywhere every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS !!!

P.S. Last year, I thought someone had stolen my boobs. I was lying in bed and noticed they were gone !! But when I jumped out of bed, I was relieved to see that they had been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now, I keep then hidden in my waistband.

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Ain't it great having friends!!!

WARNING - the means to good luck ...

The following is a serious warning. Please read it carefully and heed the advice. It may not be too late for you. Yet. --


I opened another one of those chain e-mails on Friday! You know - the kind that say you MUST pass this on to 8 (6) (maybe 10) of your nearest, dearest, bestest friends in the next 8 (6) (10, whatever) minutes and great wealth or fantastic luck or maybe just a good hair day will come your way within the next 48 hours.


Well, I should have passed it on !!!! I stupidly (naively, whatever) simply deleted it. STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!


Saturday's mail came and all it brought was bills. It wasn't just a bad hair day but a bad skin day, too. (I was "blotchy".) We were ready to go out for the day when the heater in the fish tank died. We had a replacement on hand but needed to hang around for a few hours to be sure it was working correctly after we installed it. (We have expensive fish and they prefer it WARM.)


That made it rather late in the day when we finally got to the casino. I guess that was a good thing, though. I lost money for a shorter amount of time!


Wouldn't you just know it, my Power Ball ticket had NO winning numbers on it.


Please, please, please -- take my advice, pass it on. You could get rich, or lucky or, at least have a good hair day!


(I've decided maybe, just maybe, I will pass the next "good luck chain" on. I guess it couldn't hurt.)