Wake Up !!!!

Wow, did I have a nightmare !! Actually, it was a daymare - I was awake. I was trying to decide what to put on for my day of housework, grocery shopping, blogging and working on some new merchandise when I imagined a loud knock (Okay, banging) on my front door. I swung open the door to find Stacy London and Clinton Kelly of TLC’s What Not to Wear standing there.

OMG, what to do? Before I could slam the door shut and double bolt it, they had shoved their way in. They marched straight up the stairs, down the hall and into my room. There they confronted my closet and all my clothes neatly stowed in my dresser. (Okay, they perused the pile of laundry still sitting in the basket waiting to be ironed and folded. It was easier than trying to wade through what was tightly jammed in the dresser drawers. Oh, and some of my hanging items were on hangers hanging from a hook on the outside of the closet, easier to get to, of course.)

Before I could blink, Stacy was tsk, tsking away and Clinton was shaking his head. My lip began to tremble and I started to mumble about comfort and ease. I tried desperately to wake up.

In the distance I could hear a steady beep, beep. I just knew it was a dump truck backing up to the door to load all the clothing this team deemed wrong. Oh no, Stacy was calling for back-up! They wouldn’t be able to handle it alone. I heard her leave voice mail for Dr. Ruth (Dr. Phil was unavailable) and I think I even heard Niecy Nash mentioned with regard to closet clutter.

“Okay, I get the Niecy call but what’s with Dr. Ruth?” Clinton glanced me up and down and, with a shake of his head, said, “You stand there before me in black knee-hi socks, turquoise knit jammie pants and a long red t-shirt style nightgown that “used” to have an applique on it which seems to have half-peeled off and you wonder why we’ve called in Dr. Ruth. How could you possibly be having a wild and crazy time at night in that outfit?”

Good, they don’t seem to have found my Jockey for Her drawer yet !
While Stacy was grabbing from the closet and stacking a discard pile, I ran to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I realized they really weren’t there in my room (just in my head). I went ahead and pulled on those warm, knit comfy pants and that great, heavy gray turtle-neck sweater that I’ve literally had for years. I may not be stylish today, but I’m warm and comfy which is good when there’s a blanket of snow outside.

Wait. There is a knock at my door. Do you think maybe it’s Rachael Ray or Paula Deen there to make me something good and tasty to ease my nerves?

I’ve got to start reading more and watching less T.V. !!