I need a shower !!!

I need a shower - not the soap and water kind. I need the kind that involves William-Sonoma, Pottery Barn and Kitchen & Co. I want a chance to use that little scanner thingie at Bed, Bath & Beyond. Most of all, I want fluffy, new, matching bath towels, a blender that works and a hand mixer whose cord doesn't fall out when you punch it up to high. (This list could go on for a long, long time!) I need a bridal shower !!!!

Problem is - I'm married and have been for quite some time now with no plans to replace him anytime soon. I don't see anyone deciding to throw me a bridal shower at this point in time.

Any of us that have been married for, Oh, let's say, about ten years or more, knows how all those neat gadgets and kitchen appliances and such, wear out, break down and simply become outdated. Oh yeah, both garbage disposals and dishwashers have been known to chew up and spit out silverware! (My Tupperware is in harvest colors for goodness sake! Do you know how many years it's been since they did that color combination!!) Let's face it, we don't rush out and replace these things. We make do.

I mean, I've learned to hold my mixer in such a way as to hold the cord in with my little finger while mixing. It took a fair amount of practice but it can be done. My 7-speed blender only operates on 5, but how often do I really need to use the "chop" speed? When company is coming I can still find some "fairly nice" guest towels in the cabinet and, for overnight guests, I can still dig up a couple of presentable matched towel and face cloth sets. I would love to have some truly sharp kitchen knives, though.

We all want to replace these things and we even make plans to do it. Then, the car needs brakes or the furnace dies or the kids need braces and matching towels just don't seem such a priority. Buying a new blender just because two speeds don't work really seems to be a bit of a splurge. It goes on the "when I have spare cash" list. (That list is sort of like a Letter to Santa around here.)

So, I'd like to make a suggestion. I believe we should embrace the concept of Mid-Marriage Showers ! You know, best friends, sisters, cousins, even daughters, could throw them for folks who have been married 12, 15, 20 or more years. I'm sure Target, Macy's and the above-mentioned retailers would be thrilled to incorporate Mid-Marriage Gift Registries into their systems. (Do you really see them ignoring such a marketing concept ?!?)

Okay, it might take a while for this idea to catch on. So, next time your best friend's anniversary rolls around, instead of a nice bottle of wine, consider a new kitchen gadget or two. She really will love you more for it.

In case you need to mark your calendars, my anniversary is in May.