Friday, February 4, 2011

Painting Senior Marbles (or, "Saggy B - - bs")

My (older) sister tried her hand at painting wine glasses this week. Her first efforts were less than successful but made for a good story. I asked her to write a Guest Blog about this venture.

So, without further ado, I present My Sister:

Since I have reached the venerable status of "senior citizen," I have made a startling, and not so thrilling, revelation that at this stage of life, everything in your life takes on a different look, attitude or slant.....i.e. middle age, or worse yet, "senior-aged".

When I wake up in the morning, regardless of the pep in my step, there is an old lady staring back at me from my mirror. Some days she looks sooooo tired and in need of some (a lot) of that so-called rejuvenating cream that is advertised on TV. Doesn't it just burn your buns when the promoter asks someone like Christie Brinkley, "How have you managed to stay so young looking and you are already 45?" Gasp, cough, gag!!! If I was 45, rich, had a personal assistant, a manager to handle all my finances, a personal body trainer (although in my case it would take a body training team), and someone who helped me raise my kids through all of the terrible twos, fours and teenage years, I, too, would still look young and feel young. What didn't look young, would be touched up by my personal make-up artist.

Stepping back into the real world, even my hobbies reflect my advancing years. For instance, when I decide to bake something decadent, I have to make a special trip to the grocery store for real butter instead of the low fat, low cholesterol, heart-healthy spread I usually use. I recently decided to take up painting on wine glasses. This new project involved gluing those half marbles (like those used in the bottom of flower vases) to the side of a glass goblet, then painting a dress over them. The purpose of which was to create a 3-D picture of a sexy girl on the side of the glass.

I purchased the glassware, the glass paint and made sure that I purchased "glass glue". Of course, I didn't purchase a book teaching me how to do that. "I don't need no stinkin' instructions." (Oops, there goes a little of the masculine side of me.) After all, I have been painting and crafting all my life.

I started right in gluing "boobs" to all of the glassware I had purchased. One who is as experienced as I....or maybe the term is over-confident.....never does just one item to test or practice the technique. I always figure "Why make one when you can make many?" Well, I glued all the marbles on all the glasses and laid them on their sides to dry. I was really anxious to start painting. Then I went out to the laundry room to throw in a load of wash, feeling so proud that I was multi-tasking.

When I returned to my project, there it was. The ugly truth! My whole life had ventured into the dreaded "senior world". All of the "boobs" had slid down the sides of the glasses. Visions of my sugar plums shifting when I lay flat on my back in bed at night flashed in my head. Even my painting has made the quantum leap into senior-hood. Now, I needed to figure out how to dislodge the misplaced boobs and return them to their original "perky" state. I only hope I can remember what "perky" is.

A call to my sister, Ramblin Mama, saved the day. She told me how to save the saggy boobs. WOW, she's better than a "Glasstic Surgeon". After reconstructive surgery, I started gluing again - slower, more carefully, and, definitely, wiser. I have decided to make a series of glasses with "old gals" on them. You know, we love 2 for 1 Happy Hour Margaritas and don't forget the Strawberry Daiquiris.

Now, all I have to do is find long tear-drop shaped half marbles. Better known as "senior marbles".

I'll be back with more stories about life as a "Silver Diva"(TM) (women over 50 with a passion for life).

Thanks, Sis (aka Silver Diva)!!!

1 comment:

Will Write 4 Food said...

Found you on the fabulous new Blogging teams and following! :)

Warmly,
Tiffany with Will Write 4 Food

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